Our routine for punishment is we place Little M in the Naughty Chair and tell him "You are in the Naughty Chair being punished because.... " Then we walk away. He usually howls for a few seconds. Then he starts asking to get down. We either ignore him or tell him very succinctly, "No. You are being punished; you cannot get down."
When his time is up, we go to him, get at eye level and very firmly tell him, "You were bad because you did XYZ and you were punished by sitting in the Naughty Chair. Momma doesn't like it when you are bad; it makes Momma said. I know you can be a good boy and make Momma proud. It is wrong to XYZ. Are you going to XYZ again? (wait for response) Okay, thank you. Give Momma a hug. (hugging ensues) I love you, Little M. Tell Momma you're sorry." "I sowwy Momma" "Okay, you can get down now."
This is our routine. I'm very firm about making sure I tell him why he has been punished and how to not be punished in the future. I also make sure he knows that I love him even when he's bad but it makes me proud of him when he's good. I feel that the apology, hug and love you is all very important. Usually I throw a lot more "I love you's" in there for him.
That's an awful lot of background to tell you about this morning's Naughty Chair episode!
He pushed his sister over yet again and so it was back into the Naughty Chair. He sat there for maybe 30 seconds and then....
"I wub ew Momma. I wub ew Momma. I WUB EW MOMMA."
"I love you too Little M"
"I WUB EW MOMMA. Get down now?"
Big M smirked from behind the laptop monitor.