Friday, December 26, 2008

Hello? It's me, the martyr!

Lately I've been easily frustrated by a lot of small things adding up and weighing me down. Instead of letting each little thing go, I hold on to it a little bit and carry it with me. Then as these seemingly small things accumulate, I become increasingly more stressed and frustrated which falsely magnifies the importance of additional small issues. When asked, I can recount every single little trial and tribulation of my day, the previous three days, the last week or even quarter of the year.

Who cares? I mean, seriously... who cares???

Even I don't really care. I know I sure don't want to hear a laundry list of problems from someone else and when I hear myself running down my tally for the day, I cringe internally. I know that all these things are insignificant in the large scheme of life but I seem to be so willing to martyr myself as a woman and mother. What gives?? Why do I do this?

Well, I don't care why I do it anymore. I'm just not going to do it.

I'm going to stop, take a deep breath and exhale all the negative. I'm not afraid to share the reality of my life with others, but the reality is that there's so much more positive in my life than negative. It's easier to talk about the negative because that creates attention.

Money is tight; things are stressful; plans go awry. That's just life. The blips in my life are no worse than anyone else's.

I love my little family. I love our life. I love our future.

Now I need to work on loving where I am in my life and who I am in my life.


Leigh said...

good for you, girl! Isn't that the hardest thing ever? I've been trying to do this lately, and it's rough! But I feel more positive about things now, too...

Running mommy said...

I can relate! Sometimes it takes hard work to stay and live in the moment, and not get distracted by the small stuff.

But I really believe that becoming conscious of this habit is the first step to rehabilitation!

So congratulations on taking the first step in living your life a new way!