Would you just take a nap already?!

I know my son is tired. He's giving me all the classic signs and he's even yawning. But will he stay in bed? Noooooooo! We did the up/down/back in bed thing about 7 times and I finally gave up. We'll try again in half an hour. I am exhausted.

Shoot me now. Please. Please!

12:00 am - My husband arrives home from work, goes upstairs to decompress.

1:00 am - Husband is ready to go to bed.

1:15 am - I go to bed and read to help my brain slow down.

2:00 am - I put my book down and try to fall asleep.

2:30 am - My son wakes up and wakes us up.

2:33 am - I put my son back to bed.

2:33:32 am - He's back up.

2:34 am - I put him back down with a stern lecture.

2:35 am - I start reading again to, yet again, help my brain slow down.

3:00 am - I put my book down and try to fall asleep.

3:30 am - You-know-who wakes up again just as I started to doze off.

3:33 am - He's back down.

3:33: 18 am - I don't even make it into my bedroom and he's up again.

3:34 am - I give up and climb in bed with him. Thus begins half an hour of him twitching, kicking, picking up toys, etc until I get thoroughly fed up and leave his room with stern words flung at him.

4:02 am - He's up again. This time I threaten him with Daddy.

4:35 am - Up again and Daddy goes in.

4:36 am - I'm too annoyed to sleep so I begin searching the internet for a good deal on a stun gun.

5:30 am - I lay down and once again try to fall asleep.

6:24 am - He's up again for the day and I start muttering very un-mommy things under my breath.

Party goody bags

Why do we do this? Why do we hand out goody bags at our childrens' parties?

Most of the time, it's silly stuff that the recipient isn't going to use. Of course we want to thank our guests for attending the party, but honestly, do items such as cheap hackisacks, low quality bubbles, cheap toys that break in a day and other such sundries really qualify as a well deserved thank you?

Why do we kill ourselves trying to find the "right" stuff to go in a goody bag? Inevitably, you need 14 bags and everything comes by the dozen. Then you're stuck with all the left over crap that you don't want your own children having but you're happily stuffing baggies for all your friends' kids with the same crap.

It gets expensive! The bags aren't cheap because they must match the theme of your party and it's not on sale. Then, at $2-$7 per pack of stuff, which comes either in a 6-pack or 12-pack, you always end up needing at least 10. Multiply that by the number of items you want to put in each pack and you've spent $50 on crap that no one really wants to take home and have laying around their house.

What do YOU do with the goody bags your kids get? You wait a few days, then quietly and inconspicuously toss the whole thing in the trash while your kids are napping. I know you do it so don't even pretend.

I'm done ranting now. I have to get back to Oriental Trading's website so I can finish ordering the goody bag crap for my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

Mom's aren't allowed to be sick

It never fails that about a day after the mom gets sick, at least one of her children will also become sick. This means that Mom gets no time to lay around and recover. She has to suck it up, pretend she doesn't feel like death warmed over, find some way to rally and become nursemaid to her child.

My husband was laid low by a very bad cold for almost a whole week. I did my best to take care of him and keep the kids out of his hair so he could rest. I tried to keep them quiet so he could nap and then take them out of the house whenever they were awake. He eventually recovered. Then I came down with strep throat.

While I was sick, my husband did his best to take care of me and the children. I think he did an excellent job. He did as I did: he tried to keep the kids quiet so I could rest, took them out of the house so they weren't disturbing me or coming in contact with my germs. He checked on me and brought me meds and drinks as needed.

This lasted for two days -- two glorious days of recovery time. Then he had to go back to work. So much for recovering, right?

Then my almost-one-year old daughter came down with such a horrific diaper rash! Words cannot adequately describe how heinous this rash is or the pain this poor baby is enduring. At the same time, my two-and-a-half year old son woke up with a fever and has been very lethargic and clingy.

What's a sick mother to do? She sucks it up, marshals her inner resources.... and calls her mommy to come babysit.

My mother watched the kids for a few hours yesterday so I could get some sleep but today we've been on our own while Daddy was at work. Believe me, I'm counting down the minutes till his arrival.

Maybe one day I'll be able to wallow in my germs, not shower for a day or two, be waited on hand and foot with comfort foods and meds, and sleep whenever I need to while I recover from an illness.

A girl can dream, can't she?

Who am I?

Mother of two

Wife

Stay at home mom

Friend

Those are the words that describe who I am right now.

My children are staying with their grandmother for about a week while we move and the house has been very quiet with them gone. In the midst of packing, I've been able to spend some uninterrupted time reflecting on who I am, where I am in my life and who I used to be.

My identity has changed radically in the past three years while my husband has simply expanded his identity to include father.

My identity used to be very much wrapped up in my career. No career now. So who am I? Is it enough to be a mother? Are my brain cells rebelling and jumping ship? Am I boring? Am I still intelligent? Am I interesting?

I don't want to be someone identified wholly based on the lives of their children. It's not healthy.

So how do I change it?

My Scene Dolls

Packaging says for ages 6 and up. Here's what you can purchase for your six year old girl. Barbie gone slut:




These are the new Mattel "My Scene" dolls. My dear friend called them MyOBScene. I am revolted that such trash is being created and marketed to young girls. I wouldn't even buy these for a teenage girl!

The MyScene.com website is no better. It's all about dolls dressed like cheap imitations of clubbers. You club? Great. But you're not six years old. From the hair to the makeup to the jewelry to the clothes - these are not dolls for young girls!

I find the styling of these dolls quite ironic when you read the Mattel statement on Corporate Social Responsibility found here:

Here's how to tell Mattel what you think about these dolls, their impact on our children and their "social responsibility" in producing these dolls:

Mattel products, including Hot Wheels, Barbie and Polly Pocket:
In the US and Canada: 800-524-8697

Mattel, Inc.
333 Continental Boulevard
El Segundo, CA 90245-5012
310-252-2000 tel

I think we were perved on tonight

My 2 1/2 year old son and I had some much needed time alone this afternoon. We went to Target, then to the B&N train table. Holy cow did that child have fun! Then afterwards we went next door to Petsmart so he could see the animals. We watched dogs being groomed. Then we made our way to the bird display. He was enraptured! He kept counting the birds. He pointed to their food and said, "Snack!" He told me their colors. He loved watching the fly in the cages. We left the birds for the fish tanks and that was also incredibly exciting. He'd run from one tank to another saying, "More shishies! More shishies!" I asked him if he wanted to go back to the birds and he took my hand.

As we got back to the bird display, there was a guy standing there looking at the birds. He was young - had the look of a grungy college kid but not a freshman. Sr. or grad student age. No biggy. He was about two steps back from the cages. My son was all up against the glass pointing and talking to me.

So. I realize, as crude and inappropriate as it is, guys adjust themselves. They scratch their nuts. They move their wang around. I think it's socially unacceptable to do this in public. But I don't have a ding-a-ling so I don't know... maybe it's an uncontrollable urge like coughing or sneezing. *shrug* Dunno.

Well this guy discretely adjusted or scratched. Paused, did it again. It wasn't overt. My son moved further down the cages and the guy continued to do this. He kept doing it to the point that I thought it was odd that he hadn't stopped or walked away. I guess he realized that I could see what he was doing and he kinda startled. Then he took a step back and leaned against the pole that was there but kept doing it.

Now, he wasn't rubbing himself. He was not masturbating. He was just not stopping adjusting or scratching. I took my son's hand and we left.

In the moment, I thought it was probably no big deal and just odd. As I explained it to my husband and watched his face transform, I realized that maybe more was going on and I want to kick myself for not ripping this guys nuts off right then and there.

But... I still am not convinced it was innocent. And I'm not convinced it was pervy. I really don't know!!! I'm sickened and scared. I'm uncertain. I'm angry. I want to sob. I want to be violent. But in the back of my mind, I keep thinking "What if it was just a bad case of crabs?"

My outlet

Today, I need an outlet. I need to get it off my chest.

You stupid bitch. You stupid, stupid BITCH! You have lost your son forever. Are you so self absorbed that you can't understand that your son has been taken away from you and you will never, ever get him back? That's how serious this is. CPS isn't fooling around. You live in disgusting filth. So bad that the police had to put Vicks under their noses and leave the house for fresh air. It's been five days and your house is no better than it was when they took Doug away from you. Your excuse is that you get distracted?? HOW? How can ANYTHING keep you from doing everything and anything possible to get your son back?

Or have you self destructed so that you wouldn't have to make the decision to give him up?

I just don't understand.

I cry everyday for your son and the life that lies ahead of him. And you can't be bothered to get off the damn computer to throw out all the garbage that has accummulated in your home. I just don't understand.